merry go round GOM

A ship somewhere in the GOM, this was recieved as the daily update report. Names have been changed to protect the guilty.
To get the most from this i think it is best to read it in the way you read a bed time story to your kids 😕

Well the ship is now going somewhere.
Where I don’t know (honestly I don’t) the boat
is steaming, I went to the 23:30 pre shift meeting and no one arrived
to take it. On investigation the bloke (deck foreman) who was supposed
to take the meeting was sat at the back of the room and was not aware
that he was supposed to chair the pre- shift meeting, after looking
around sheepishly he admitted that no one had given him a hand over or
told him what was going on anyway.
I then decided a good cup of tea was in order, so I went and found
Billy Bob (my opposite supervisor) to see what he had heard, "I don’t know maaaaaan" he said in his
Louisiana drawl "no one’s toll me nuthin, but the ingineeeer says we’s
to git a hot work permit and JSA’S for da mornin, dats alllllll I bin
tol"
So after drinking my tea and contemplating my place in the Universe I
wandered up to the project office to see the engineer, on walking in he
was hunched over his computer grunting to himself. " Alright mate,” I
said, " do you know where we’re going ? " He visibly twitched at the
question and when he looked at me he seems a bit nervous and wild eyed.
" No, no, no" he said " I haven’t a clue, but I’m glad you’re here
they are going nuts about your launch and recovery JSA its not long
enough "
He then thrust a 2 line JSA into my hand " mmmmmmmmm " I thought "
interesting", my contemplation was interrupted by the stressed engineer
squeaking " The superintendent and company rep said its not long enough we
need more lines on it”.
" Oh " I replied stoking my chin in an intellectual manner, “ where
did they get this ". “ It was on my desk" he say, " aaaaaaahhhhhhhhh"
I thought again, and then in my innocence I decided to ask a really
stupid question" has any one actually read this" I say, " No man we
bin tooooo busy for dat" (I think he’s from Texas)
A light came on in my head as realisation dawned, I attracted his
attention with a polite cough, he looked at me as if the world would end
if he didn’t touch his key board in the next five seconds " WHAT" he
growled at me through gritted teeth. I stepped back a pace (I thought
of distance between us might be good at this point) " Well " I said, "
if you actually read this you would see that its a JSA for unhooking
Subsea loads”. " F**ks sake " he exploded "why is everyone on at me
all the time"
I was beginning to think another cup of tea could be in order, so I
am ambled towards the door. As I reached for the handle he shouts " Oh
yea I forgot, you need a hot work permit” at 6 o’ clock, "to do what”
I asked " I dunno no one’s told me anything" he replied
"OK " I said cheerfully as I left
A second cup of tea was definitely in order, so I made my tea and
wandered down to the TV room to see John (sub eng he’s a Brit). " "What’s
on?” I asked. " Its a documentary on chimps. We looked at each other and
nothing needed to be said.
That is exactly how the first 30 minutes of my shift went. Any way
gents I hope you enjoy the rugby I’ve got to make a phone call, its my
Granny I hear she’s not feeling well :))
Cheers