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- This topic has 15 replies, 12 voices, and was last updated 15 years, 11 months ago by
James McLauchlan.
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AuthorPosts
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June 1, 2008 at 4:26 pm #1547
ROVRatt
ParticipantWhenever a TV programme about an American rig comes on, they’re never wearing the PPE that I haveto. Is it jeans and T-shirts in the GOM? With the only PPE required being shoes, hats, glasses and gloves?
If so, why?
June 2, 2008 at 1:46 pm #17602rovbionic
ParticipantThere not big on safety glasses and for what ever reason most do not wear coveralls….so you can imagine the galley and accommodations!
June 3, 2008 at 4:14 pm #17603Andy Shiers
ParticipantNow this particular topic , I can get my teeth into 😀
I also watched a bit of ( By mistake a few minutes before it nearly made me Vomit ) An American TV Offshore programme called Oil , Sweat and something 😕
Not only do these hard nuts without proper PPE Run a whole God Damm Rig………… "Ohhh , what fine specimens we are in these restricting boys tee shirts of human kind" ! But they managed to put a hole opener down to 2000m water depth on to an abandoned wellhead without the use of guide wires 😯
While This was happening , a crack team of welders were putting fish plates in the legs to strengthen them for some new Storm Anchors within 10 days !
Most people would agree that these welding jobs of this magnitude is done in Dock !
But not these tough cookies 8) They had a deadline to catch !
Of course 🙂 They were men 😯 ….. Money , Money , Money 8) Profit , Profit , Profit ! Safety……………………….. Not 🙄
What utter CRAP some people try to feed us !
I did not see it myself , but I went onto the Vessel afterwards , about a certain DSV called the Seawell last year ,
From what I heard from the guys on board , the BBC or whoever made the programme put together some fine amusing Bullshit how ……The Divers "Saves EARTH " 😕
They seemed to have forgotten all the other personnel on board from Deckies , Riggers, ROV pilots ( and thier ROV’s) LST’s and practically all the other functionaries that play key mechanisims on board 😯
From all the Shite I have heard and the programmes I have seen on TV about ‘Gung-Ho’s’ in GOM 😯
I think I will stay away from there 😕
What attitudes , What Charisma , What herioc Goddamme actions 😯
NOT 😆June 3, 2008 at 5:03 pm #17604Mike Kidd
ParticipantReminds me of a story in the Darwin Awards
"Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a bad day at the office. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It’s a wetsuit.
This time of year the water is quite cool. So here’s what we do to keep warm: We have a diesel-powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temp. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose which is taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a damn good plan, doesn’t it? I’ve used it several times with no complaints.
When I get to the bottom and start working, what I do is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my neck and flood my whole suit with warm water. It’s like working in a Jacuzzi. Everything was going well until my ass started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my itchy ass started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done.
In agony I realized what had happened. The hot-water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. This is even worse than poison ivy under a cast. I had put that hose down my back, but I don’t have any hair on my back, so the jellyfish couldn’t get stuck to my back. My ass crack was not as fortunate.
When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into my ass. I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communications system. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he and 5 other divers were laughing hysterically.
Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make 3 hellish in-water decompression stops totaling 35 minutes before I could reach the surface for my chamber dry decompression. I got to the surface wearing nothing but my brass helmet. My suit and gear were tied to the bell. When I got on board, the medic, with tears of laughter streaming down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to coat my ass when I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn’t shit for two days because my asshole was swollen shut.
We’ve since modified the equipment to filter out most sea creatures.Anyway, the next time you have a bad day at the office, think of me. Think about how much worse your day would be if you were to squash a jellyfish on your ass. I hope you have no bad days at the office. But if you do, I hope this will make it more tolerable."
Only happen to a Diver 😆
June 3, 2008 at 7:45 pm #17605Oldschool
Participantflycatcher,
I am sorry about "your bad day at the office", but thanks for sharing! I haven’t laughed that hard in quite a while 😆 !!! So, I’m gonna share a "bad day at the office" story with you:
I and a mate were in my office on the Liuhua 11-1 Project in China back in 1999. A new hire got lost on the rig after his orientation and ended up in the "Chinese Communal Bath, Shower and Brothel." Yep, he witnessed an unnatural act between 2 guys in the shower and managed to race his way into my office, panicked and out of breath.
After listening to his detailed account of his horrific experience, my crazy mate (Danish Wanker) gave me a "wink and a limp wrist wave". Yep we were on 😈 . Long story short, we asked this new ROV guy if he hadn’t "BEEN TOLD!" Told that this is a "GAY RIG" of course; as my crazy mate pinched his bum from behind, blew into his ear and whispered, "YOU MEAN YOU’RE NOT HONEY???!!!" 8)
Poor guy screamed, ran out of my office in tears; with certainity of receiving a good rig-wide gang bang and locked himself into his room 😆 . It took over 3 hours to convince this poor Kiwi that he had not landed in the ancient city of Sodom 😯 and that night was rapidly closing in on him 😯 😯 😯 …LOL!!!
So always remember, there is ALWAYS someone out there having a "bad day at the office" and suffering just so other offshore @$$es can have a better day and a good laugh at your expense.
June 3, 2008 at 7:52 pm #17606ParticipantGOM PPE posts are normal shite since I came in the industry in 1995. Those "old guys" in here that know me, know that I have spent the MAJORITY of my career outside the GOM because of this very mentality. The offshore HUET, medicals and survival courses here are total jokes, no firefighting courses and all safety courses designed for room temperature IQ types that "Cowboy-up" to total stupidity!
June 4, 2008 at 7:57 am #17607Participantflycatcher
that business with the jellyfish use to happen to us diving in Middle East along with stone fish and urchins….all part of the job…thanks for the memories.Getting back to the topic……you should see the yanks struggle with a JSA or better explain it to the troops….now theres some entertainment.
June 4, 2008 at 11:49 am #17608Anonymous
GuestJeez would love to know who Old School is…. racking my brains at the moment;
hmm Liuhua 11.1…..Danny; no
Tim; No
Mark;No
Denzel; no
Andy; no
Stu; no
Mcabe; no?????
June 4, 2008 at 1:35 pm #17609seadogg
ParticipantHMMN
Could it be that a fly has snared the spider here, or maybe you have forgotten one of your alias’s and begun talking to your self? if its bait, you should nibble on it first not swallow the whole hook.
if it’s any consolation it has me guessing too. i initially thought it was you ,posting with the usual little bit of diversionary smoke.
no?……..hmmn how about ron?
or scot bev?..no , he would post as himself..
or Paul ? (can’t think of his surname)It’s a great story anyway. Reminds me of the time Dazza told the trainee not to eat too much as you had to settle the bill with the camp boss at the end of the trip. I had to let the guy in on the joke after 3 or 4 days as he wasn’t getting enough energy to do his share of the work
June 4, 2008 at 5:45 pm #17610Scott Beveridge
ParticipantSeadogg,
Trainee reps can be fun as well… India: " Eekxcooze me sah, why is the platform moving up & down and up & down sah?" "Well, Mr. Roti, there are hydraulic lifts with pitch and roll sensors on each one for the sole purpose of having a level and stable platform because the platform hands were complaining that their snooker games were being affected"….
Lost,
Reminds me of a Discovery program on in the early 90’s. They had an OI diving (GOM) supv spouting off the grandoise virtues of the ruffy-tuffies and how ROV’s couldn’t do 20% of the work that divers do. And yes, guess what he was wearing…. Bibs… Hmmmmm….. No sea too rough, no muff too tough…. Bet Johnny Huff ended up saying something to that drongo.
Old skool,
Looks like Sonslug’s got there sights on you!
June 6, 2008 at 5:39 am #17611ParticipantHummmm…Liuhua 11-1 FPS NHTZ in late 90s
Could I be:
Sam from Taz…. 🙄
Nigel from UK…. 🙄
Les from Oz…. 🙄
Philipp from London…. 🙄
Stew from PI…. 🙄
Hendrik from PI…. 🙄
Jay from PI…. 🙄
Darryl from UK… 🙄
Ron from Sing… 🙄
Scott from Thai… 🙄
Greg from Houston… 🙄
Bebe’s from Houston… 🙄
Ian from UK… 🙄
Nathan the GAY Kiwi… 😯Nah! 😆
June 6, 2008 at 7:24 pm #17612ParticipantLast I knew Jay Cook was still in Angeles City flying microlites/ LBFMs 😉 and talking about retiring in OZ.
June 10, 2008 at 8:17 am #17613Horris
ParticipantFor all you ole blokes out there reminiscing about Lui Hua L11-1 FPS. Starting in late July it is about to have the 3 flowline risers from the FPS manifold to the FPSO buoy to the replaced as a SuperTyphoon took them out a few years ago. The damaged ones were temporarily replaced but are now being 100% replaced. Acergy are laying the new ones, and I believe a Sonsub DFCS is being mobbed to perform the tie-ins. So there will be a bit of work if you want to go back for a look see.
August 1, 2008 at 10:54 pm #17614boroman
ParticipantBack to the original thread GOM PPE.
You need full PPE so that you don’t get covered in the Sh**e that flows so elequently from there mouths! 😆
August 3, 2008 at 6:46 am #17615Tak_Tahu_Lah
ParticipantHummmm…Liuhua 11-1 FPS NHTZ in late 90s
Could I be:
Sam from Taz…. 🙄
Nigel from UK…. 🙄
Les from Oz…. 🙄
Philipp from London…. 🙄
Stew from PI…. 🙄
Hendrik from PI…. 🙄
Jay from PI…. 🙄
Darryl from UK… 🙄
Ron from Sing… 🙄
Scott from Thai… 🙄
Greg from Houston… 🙄
Bebe’s from Houston… 🙄
Ian from UK… 🙄
Nathan the GAY Kiwi… 😯Nah! 😆
Or
Graeme from Jockland
Dave from Aus
Ray from Kiwi
Stan from Aus
Chris from Kiwi
Tony M from Aus
or maybe Reece and his Da’ 🙄
As for doing the DFCS again … Nooooooooooooooooooo 😆
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