Bumper Stickers

Bumper Stickers

I didn’t fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.

Necrophilia: That uncontrollable urge to crack open a cold one.

Honk if you’ve never seen an Uzi fired from a car window.

If you can beat me, you can eat me! (seen on a Corvette driven by a
"drop-dead gorgeous blonde")

Who lit the fuse on your tampon?!

Fight Crime: Shoot Back!

If you can read this, please flip me back over… (seen upside down, on a
Jeep)

Please tell your pants it’s not polite to point.

A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the ass.

Never raise your hands to your kids; it leaves your groin unprotected.

Feel safe tonight… Sleep with a cop.

Remember folks: Stop lights timed for 35mph are also timed for 70mph.

GUYS: No shirt, no service. GALS: No shirt, no charge.

If walking is so good for you, then why does my mailman look like Jabba the
Hut?

Impotence: Nature’s way of saying "No hard feelings"

Heart Attacks… God’s Revenge For Eating His Animal Friends.

We have enough youth, how about a fountain of smart?

Axe me about Ebonics.

Boldly going nowhere

Cat: The other white meat

CAUTION – Driver legally blonde

Don’t be sexist — broads hate that!

Eat Well, Stay Fit, Die Anyway.

He’s not dead, He’s electroencephalographically challenged.

If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.

If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, riddle them with bullets.

If you lived in your car, you’d be home by now.

WARNING! Driver only carries $20.00 in ammunition.

What has four legs and an arm? A happy pit bull.

Your ridiculous little opinion has been noted.

Funny Bumper Stickers:
* Your kid may be an honors student, but you’re still an idiot.
* Learn from your parents’ mistakes – use birth control.
* We have enough youth, how about a fountain of Smart?
* He who laughs last thinks slowest.
* Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
* It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
* Auntie Em, Hate you, hate Kansas, taking the dog. Dorothy.
* Time is what keeps everything from happening at once.
* I get enough exercise just pushing my luck.
* All men are idiots, and I married their King.
* Jack Kevorkian for White House Physician.
* Montana — At least our cows are sane!
* Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.
* Reality is a crutch for people who can’t handle drugs.
* Where there’s a will, I want to be in it.
* OK, who stopped payment on my reality check?
* Few women admit their age; Fewer men act it.
* I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
* Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW.
* Time is the best teacher, unfortunately it kills all of its students.
* Some people are only alive because it is illegal to kill.
* Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have.
* A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
* Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.
* Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
* We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things got worse.
* Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else.
* Very funny Scotty, now beam down my clothes.
* Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
* Be nice to your kids. They’ll choose your nursing home.
* There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can’t.
* Why is ‘abbreviation’ such a long word?
* Keep honking…I’m reloading