101 Reasons for why the ROV does not work – Trainee Module

This topic has 21 replies, 18 voices, and was last updated 15 years, 7 months ago by Andy Shiers.

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August 17, 2007 at 8:24 am #929

Axeman
Participant

1. I’m just running the winch
2. The sea conditions are to rough
3. The vessel is off position
4. The other Client said to wait for him
5. Survey is offline
6. The Data-logger is getting the next work package
7. Bridge said they got no satelites
8. I can’t leave the TMS as the current is to strong
9. DPO is moving vessel
10. The Divers asked us to wait for them
11. Its raining
…..

August 17, 2007 at 8:33 am #13355

Cabledog
Participant

🙄 🙄

August 17, 2007 at 8:37 am #13356

Savante
Participant

1. The electricity is the wrong smell.
2. The oil has the wrong sound.
3. The motors were built on the sabbath and are presently being excommunicated.
4. The vehicle was designed for "in-air" operations only.
5. The water is too wet.
6. The sun is the wrong way around.
7. We can actually see the satellite.
8. Mars is rotating incorrectly today.
9. The DP2 is actually only DP 1.95
10. We have run out of triple manifold overlay sprokets.
11. Our winch is the wrong color for these conditions.
12. Our vessel heading is incorrect for Sky One (TM)

August 17, 2007 at 9:03 am #13357

Trainee2
Participant

22. The vessel can’t hold position
23. You didn’t see that fighter plane?
24. The survey seabat can’t even see the deck, what makes you think it’ll see the pipe underwater?
25. We’re reallocating signal conductors to improve ROV comms (the R word)
26. For the next phase we need the foo foo valve mounted on the tooling manifold
27. Survey are changing the beacons, but I think they have a problem (put someone else in the shit)
28. We’re just uploading some more sonar contacts
29. The new environmental green oil has to settle
30. My boss is talking with your boss.
31. The supply boat is tried up alongside

August 17, 2007 at 10:10 am #13358

Andy Shiers
Participant

😆 Number 27 , that is so true 😀 that got me in stiches fror ages

32. Were we supposed to go in ?
33. "No one tells me anything" You know who that is Axeman 😀
34. The monitors needed cleaning !
35. The logs need to be updated
36. The annual maintenance on the main lift umbilical , just so happens to be now ! 😯
37. There’s a dead sheep in the vertical thruster 😯
38. err the vertical thruster is missing 😕

August 17, 2007 at 10:55 am #13359

Savante
Participant

39. The specific density of sea-water has dipped below tolerance. We have to replace it before we can proceed. Our buoyancy can’t work in these conditions! 😆

August 17, 2007 at 11:12 am #13360

TEAMJBR
Participant

40. My Supervisor told me not to talk you any more coz last time you dropped us in the shit and so sneaky little phising trips need to be refered back to him or else!!!

August 17, 2007 at 6:00 pm #13361

nelson69
Participant

41
the russians have got flag on seabed we are not aloud to go down

August 17, 2007 at 6:01 pm #13362

Mike Kidd
Participant

41. That vent plug 😯 I thought it was meant to off or else how would it work 😕

August 17, 2007 at 8:12 pm #13363

melvodon
Participant

42. the rs232 is not talking with the flux Capacitors on the circuit with the dilithium crystals,so we cant go into warp drive.

August 18, 2007 at 3:56 pm #13364

Ray Shields
Participant

43. Don’t ask me I don’t know what the ROV is; I was a chef before doing the training course at Fort William – but I have a bit of paper somewhere that says I’m an ROV Pilot…

August 18, 2007 at 4:54 pm #13365

Andy Shiers
Participant

44. We had to bring the ROV up as there is a fire drill sometime today and we don’t want to be left out !
45. 😀 Since the ROV is on deck due to the fire drill this appears to be an oppotune moment to carry out maintenance to the system.

August 28, 2007 at 5:17 pm #13366

blowhole
Participant

46. The computer says no.

November 27, 2008 at 9:52 am #13367

bcklad
Participant

47. I was told to cut it
48. It was easier to keep going around than come back around
49. I thought it was a good idea to grab the TMS rather than dock
50. Hey look the tunnel thruster is spinning pretty fast….shit we’ve lost comms/video.

November 27, 2008 at 12:26 pm #13368

Anonymous
Guest

51. OK boss i told them the fu fu valve is fucked
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