Understanding Engineers – Take One
Two engineering students were biking across a university campus when
one said, "Where did you get such a great bike? The second engineer
replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business,
when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it on the ground,
took off her clothes and said, "Take what you want." The second
engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice; the clothes
probably wouldn’t have fitted you."
Understanding Engineers – Take Two
To the optimist, the glass is half full.
To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.
To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
Understanding Engineers – Take Three
A priest, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a
particularly slow group of golfers.
The engineer fumed, "What’s with those guys? We’ve been waiting 15 minutes!"
The doctor chimed in, "I don’t know, but I’ve never seen such inept golfers!"
The priest said, "Here comes the green keeper, let’s ask him." He said, "Hello, George! What’s wrong with the group ahead of us? They’re rather slow aren’t they?"
The green keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That’s a group of blind fire
fighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last
year, so we always let them play for free any time."
The group fell silent for a moment. The priest said, ‘That’s so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."
The doctor said, "Good idea. I’m going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there’s anything he can do for them." The engineer said, "Why can’t they play at night?"
Understanding Engineers- Take Four
What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil
engineers?
Mechanical engineers build weapons.
Civil engineers build targets.
Understanding Engineers – Take Five
The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
The graduate with an engineering degree asks, ‘How does it work?"
The graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"
Understanding Engineers – Take Six
Normal people believe that if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.
Engineers believe that if it ain’t broke, it doesn’t have enough features yet.
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