The Contractor

[turtle]

I am contract ROV personnel. I work for me. Do not confuse me with an employee motivated by the carrots and sticks of your HR policies. Threat of losing “bonus” money withheld from my paycheck for six months as incentive to not drag up does not apply. I will train your people to the extent they are motivated and trainable. I am not here to fix your lack of critical spares which have been “on order” for duration of present contract. I have no expectation to be promoted thus no reason to kill myself trying to make the Project Manager recently promoted from ROV Trainee look smart. I will call a spade a fcking shovel. I expect that when recently made up Supervisor Billy Cowboy who cannot park it in the TMS unassisted needs to get sent to a job where he can’t do any harm I will be demoted to Sub Eng. No problem, you can call me AssistantAssWipe – my pay stays the same. If you do not like the insignia of your competition on my boiler suit, provide suitable wear for the job. Ask my size. PRIOR to my arrival. Make it part of your checklist when you send my flight details and ask for my certs. Otherwise get used to having your client see the guy who gets ‘er done dressed in the accoutrement of the last company that found resources to do so. When it all goes pear shaped I expect to get the wrath. I have big shoulders, it comes with the territory. I also expect my name to be missing from the “kudos” email when the joystick or screwdriver in my hand performed superhuman save-the-day ROV ops. Just don’t come up with an after the fact policy that “travel days for Day Raters are now 60 percent”. I agree to live by the laws of supply and demand when you take Contractor B in place of me because he is willing to accept 2 percent less than me, regardless of the fact that he brings 90 percent less skills and experience and integrity to the job. But expect that my allegiance to you lasts until Agency X offers me 50 cents a day more. I operate what I do as a small business and if you want to pay only a dollar for my apples then the product gets sold to the fellow with a dollar and ten cents in hand. And I am paid nothing for time I am placed on standby at my house. If the client, either directly or through agency keeps me on “just another couple days, just another week” for too long and the phone rings with an alternate money in hand offer, leave tomorrow – well, been nice knowing you. Yes, you’ll “remember that next time around” but three weeks from now when the client asks for me by name and you can make 15 percent on my arse your memory will lapse. DO NOT expect me to pull out my credit card when you fail to pay for the airline ticket, even though there was enough pre planning to make the appropriate reservation unfunded. Not gonna happen.

Payment due fortnight after receipt of invoice. Thank you for your business.

[Savante]

nice – a good and eloquent summary !!! 😆

[Andy Shiers]

That about sums it up !
😀

[Scott Beveridge]

Lurverly dude!!! Just effin’ perfect!!!!!!! Let’s have a round of here, here’s etc.!!!

[Mike Kidd]

I am a contractor, I waffle my way onto systems, I was there when the Titanic was found, only doing doing Oil n Gas work because Discovery Channel has cut back on its projects due to the recession. I had to leave the ROV company I used to work for because they found out I am useless and all the Project managers had been filled. I always bring scruffy overalls hoping the system will give me some new ones which I can then sell on ebay when I get home. I dont do STOP cards because I am to busy saving the world unless there are good safety prizes then I will spend all day doing them. I am a fountain of knowledge about all things and believe that knowledge is power so will not pass it on to the plebs working with me.
I am a that man 😆

[ROV_Monkey]

I am a contractor, I waffle my way onto systems, I was there when the Titanic was found, only doing doing Oil n Gas work because Discovery Channel has cut back on its projects due to the recession. I had to leave the ROV company I used to work for because they found out I am useless and all the Project managers had been filled. I always bring scruffy overalls hoping the system will give me some new ones which I can then sell on ebay when I get home. I dont do STOP cards because I am to busy saving the world unless there are good safety prizes then I will spend all day doing them. I am a fountain of knowledge about all things and believe that knowledge is power so will not pass it on to the plebs working with me.
I am a that man 😆

I’ve got a few thoughts on this, but for the moment…

This will be fun…

Sits back, opens popcorn…..

Monkey 😈

[DJansen]

I am a contractor, I waffle my way onto systems, I was there when the Titanic was found, only doing doing Oil n Gas work because Discovery Channel has cut back on its projects due to the recession. I had to leave the ROV company I used to work for because they found out I am useless and all the Project managers had been filled. I always bring scruffy overalls hoping the system will give me some new ones which I can then sell on ebay when I get home. I dont do STOP cards because I am to busy saving the world unless there are good safety prizes then I will spend all day doing them. I am a fountain of knowledge about all things and believe that knowledge is power so will not pass it on to the plebs working with me.
I am a that man 😆

Christ you must be the Septic I ran off my last job…

[liddelljohn]

I am a CONTRACTOR

If i dont like your companies mismanagement or the personel I am stuck with in yor crummy vessel and the pay is crap I am a Prostitute

If i dont like your companies mismanagement or the personel i am stuck with In your crummy vessel but the pay is Good Ii am a Mercenary

If I like your well run company and its personel and the vessel and of course the cash I’m a Pirate .

Usually I am a sort of prostituted,mercenary ,pirate .

[Author]

Posts